It’s so easy to put conditions on the level of love we feel towards ourselves. For some it’s a weight loss goal, a career goal, a relationship goal, a money goal, and many others. The minute we do this, we lose touch with who we are now, and therefore the happiness and self-love that we have available to us in this present moment.
For me, my conditions have always been attached to my career. It’s taken me a long time to realise that by denying myself kindness and acceptance of where I am now, only leads me to more distress and unhappiness. Louise Hay says in her book The Power Is Within You “Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
Here are a few other ways I use to remind myself that my kindness is far more powerful than my criticism.
1) Know your worth
Self-esteem is the manifestation of how we view ourselves, and shouldn’t be solely based on our appearances. How do you feel about your intelligence? Your morals and values? What are some of your biggest strengths and weaknesses? Getting to know who you are on a deeper level, enables you to understand why you view yourself the way you do and from this you then have the ability to start implementing new goals for yourself.
Knowing your worth also gives you the confidence to start saying no to things in your life that do not add to your overall level of satisfaction. Learning to say no to certain treatments, favours or even spending time with someone toxic, is a form of self-love and an incredibly empowering way of looking after yourself.
2) Your journey is completely separate to everyone around you so stop comparing
This one is a slippery slope towards self-defeat and judgment. The only person you need to compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday (as cliche as it sounds). As i’ve mentioned before, we are all on completely different paths, set out to learn unique lessons in life. Therefore comparing yourself to anyone else is a complete waste of your time and emotional energy.
The minute you take back that focus from what everyone around you is doing, and point it straight back at you, you’ll feel no need to compete with them and no longer become discouraged by the success of others. You have no idea whats going on behind closed doors, and something that you may be taking for granted in your own life, could be the exact same thing someone else is longing for.
3) Consistency is key
Along with any major change/shift, is consistent action. Working towards something that you value, regardless of what that is, is a great way of building healthy self-confidence. Break down your goal into small steps and keep track of where you started and where you are now. Being able to measure small feats reminds you of your own talents and abilities which will only lead to even more self-confidence.
Not only should you feel proud for accomplishing your goal, you should also recognise the courage it took to begin this process. Change can be scary, but once you realise that you can handle it, you’ll be able to ease into the next set of changes that life will throw your way. It’s all about building yourself up to be the best version of yourself, and celebrating everything that makes you unique. You truly are a gift to everyone around you! x