On the morning of my 21st birthday, I received the news that my mum had passed away after a fairly gruelling 7 year battle with colon cancer. I didn’t know how I was getting to live my life without her. My world felt like it had fallen a part, and sometimes this feeling still lingers. The sad reality is, is that we will all lose something/someone that we love in our lifetimes; it’s part of the human cycle. However, how we chose to move on from our loss is completely up to us and this is our power.
Here are 5 valuable ways we can use our loss to create a stronger, happier and more powerful life:
1) Empower yourself to live a more fulfilling life
Each and everyone of us is here for a specific reason. We’ve all been given a purpose, a gift, and it’s up to us to discover what that is, and to share it with the world. When my mum passed away, I realised that her gift was her kindness. Her ability to care for others so fiercely, that she was considered a true companion & friend by many, is what makes me so proud to be her daughter. So ask yourself, what makes your heart happy? What makes you feel alive? Once you’ve got your answer, find ways to incorporate more of this into your life. And if it takes you a little longer to figure the answer out, just remember that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be right now, and the important thing is that you’re starting to ask yourself these powerful questions. We’ve all got to start somewhere right?
2) Live for every single moment
That cliché but ever-so-true saying ‘you don’t know what you have until it’s gone’ rings true on so many levels. It’s so easy to take the simplest of things for granted, whilst getting caught up in the habitual cycle of worrying and living in either the past or the future. Before I go to bed every night, I try and list 10 things that I’m grateful for that day. This habit alone helps you tune into everything in your life that brings you pure joy and happiness. You start to now look out for these things, take notice of them, and before you know it, you’re attracting more and more of these beautiful moments into your life. It’s all about shifting your focus from a negative, toxic one into a more positive, uplifting mindset which in itself has the power to completely change your life.
3) Turn it into the fuel you use to accomplish your dreams
I look back now and think that if my mum hadn’t have passed away, I don’t think I would have travelled all this way to London to pursue my dream of being a personal stylist & wellness coach. I simply couldn’t have bared the thought of being that far away from her. So now I am able to look back, and be thankful that she almost gave me the opportunity to pursue my passion in life. Being able to turn a negative experience into something that’s positive and uplifting, will not only make you a stronger & more resilient person, but it’ll also result in you being able to take back responsibility for how you choose to live your life.
4) Remind yourself of the importance of your connections in life
A fundamental aspect of our happiness, is our relationship with others. They form such a crucial part of our daily lives, yet they can be something that we take for granted the most. My mum’s passing taught me to appreciate all the beautiful people I am lucky to have in my life, and is a constant reminder of the need to let them know how much I appreciate them. Kindness and the act of giving are often seen as a weaknesses, yet I believe they are two of the most powerful traits you can have in life. Never underestimate the power of touch. People suffering through grief or hard times will be able to tell you how incredibly comforting a gentle touch from a loved one can be, because a hug has the ability to soothe a person more than any words could ever do so.
5) Remind yourself to never postpone your happiness
We love to put things off, procrastinate, come up with a million reasons as to why we’re “not quite ready yet”. The truth of the matter is is that we’re never ready for anything in life. You have to just jump straight in, and not let the fear of failure or even success hold you back. The only moment you are promised is the present moment, the one you’re in right now, and that’s the only moment you can control. Use your loss as a way of learning to act in the here and now. Have more faith in yourself and your abilities and start up that shop/business/clothing line, or take that photography class/painting class etc. Whatever you’ve been wanting to do for a while, do it now, before it’s too late. The only thing you will ever regret, are the chances that you didn’t take. Everything else is a lesson and a gift, so treat it that way 🙂