If you follow along with my posts, then you’ll know how highly I value self-care and kindness. I’ve come to value this because I’ve always been my own harshest critic, and spoken to myself in a way that I would never dream of speaking to any of my friends. I was always under the impression that it was selfish to put myself first, and I used to ask myself how could this possibly help me help others?
Until one day, I came across a quotation that finally put it all into perspective & now it’s a saying I live by… “You can’t pour from an empty cup”(you’ve probably seen me mention it a few times in my other posts too). Life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies & you’ve been through some tough times in order to get to where you are today. That alone is something to be proud of. But you always have the choice to look after yourself, to make sure from this moment onwards that you are happy and well looked after. And that starts with you and a few simple promises you can make to yourself.
1) I will live a life that feels good to me, not one that looks good to others.
What one person defines as a happy and successful life, is completely different to the next person. Can you imagine how boring life would be if we all strived to achieve the same things in life? We’re all born with unique talents and gifts, and it’s our responsibility to determine what these are and how we can use them to help others.
Everyone is too concerned about how they are being perceived by others to truly worry about you….and if they are, then remind yourself that the most unhappy and judgmental people in life, are always treating themselves in the exact same way. Hurt people hurt other people. So as hard as it may be, try and remember it says more about them than it ever does about you.
2) I will take notice of how I speak to myself, and vow to try and show myself more kindness.
Our self-talk sets the precedent for everything we feel, judge, and take notice of in life. It’s responsible for how we view ourselves, how we view others, and how we view our current situation. Negative self-talk is utterly self-deprocating and often leads to a life that you will never be fully happy with. So do yourself a favour, and treat yourself the way you would treat those you care about most in life.
You are the only person you are guaranteed to have throughout your entire lifetime, and it should be the most important relationship you take care of and nurture. There’s absolutely nothing selfish about taking care of yourself, because if you don’t, you’ll be left with no energy or love to share with others.
3) I will walk away from any situation that no longer makes me happy or benefits me in any way, without guilt or self-judgment.
Whether it’s work commitments, friends, relationships, family matters etc. if a situation is serving you more pain and anguish than love and happiness, its time for you to walk away. Anything you do in life has to serve both you and the other ‘thing’ or person in order for it to be truly valuable to all parties involved.
The easiest part is recognising it’s no longer making you happy. The hardest part is often walking away. When we finally pluck up the courage to walk away, we’re suddenly hit by waves of self-judgment, negative self talk and plenty of guilt. All of which can be scary enough to keep us stuck in the situation. In order for you to help that person or give your 100% efforts to anything in life, you have to know it’s working for you too, otherwise welcome to the quickest way of reaching a burnout.
And one final note to finish on, please don’t ever compromise your happiness for anything else in life. It’s simply not worth it, and anything that’s making you feel that it should isn’t worth having in your life to begin with.